Driving with an L-plater


published on 18th July, 2010

You know what’s fun? Putting your life in the hands of a 29-year old driver with very limited experience on the road. If you’re going to die, you might as well do it while screaming blue murder and taking seven friendly strangers with you, right?

No actually, WRONG. How about you get your licence when you’re seventeen, like the rest of us, you L-plating gallah? How about learning to turn your head without turning the car? How about indicating? How about LET ME DRIVE MY OWN CAR I’M NOT YOUR MUM. How about that?

Sorry, sorry. That was harsh. I’ll just take a few valiums and start again… OK, you’re doing well. Good work. That’s it. Look at you – braking smoothly and all! Now we’re going to need to change lanes. Change lanes now. How about now? Change. Your. Lane. NOW, NOW, NOW! CHANGE LANES NOW! JESUS F*CK I’M GOING TO SMASH YOU IN THE FACE. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!

See? Fun.

Related Content
  • goods

    Ducklings

    Seeing as ducklings are too weak to handle the rain and fend off the cat, you’ll need to provide an outdoor, hay-lined enclosure for the ...

    by TOBY FEHILY

  • hear

    An interview with Yuck

    Jonny Rogoff is chill guy from New Jersey (here’s a video of him appreciating art). Three years ago Jonny was living in the Israeli desert...

    by SAM WEST

  • look

    Kenzie Larsen, ‘It’s Just...

    Kenzie Larsen apparently believes the adage about how it is busy people who get things done. She makes art and theatre and custom t-shirts. She...

    by BETHANY SMALL

  • stray

    Little Bay

    Imagine if Gordon’s Bay was better. You’re imagining Little Bay. You’d never believe that behind Long Bay Prison sits a gaping...

    by HAYLEY MORGAN

  • read

    A short interview with Max Lavergne,...

    They added Best Eats this year. What should be the next category added? Best Fats, I would imagine (because of the alphabet). It’ll be a...

    by ALEX VITLIN

  • read

    An Open Letter To David Sedaris

    We first encountered you when one of our good friends gave us SantaLand Diaries as a Christmas pressie. Despite being a totally predictable...

    by US