The Thousands

Before I went to Nightmare Wrestling I’d never had a giant lift me up by the back of my trousers. I’d also never heard a small child yell out, "Smash his head! Take off the turnbuckle!", or indeed had any idea what a turnbuckle was (it’s the nice, soft covering that stops the metal corners of a wrestling ring from being lethal – WHO RAISED THAT CHILD?).

Ahem. Anyway, it was a glorious night of firsts, helped along by $3.80 beers and a group of friends who aren’t afraid to get bogan. And by ‘get bogan’ I mean ‘give all the wrestlers emasculating nicknames and start a chorus of "wuuu-ssy, wuuu-ssy"’.**I was scared we might witness some traumatising Mickey Rourke-getting-stapled shit, but it’s more like a simply plotted pantomime ("look out – he’s behind you!") with extra chest. Spandex-clad fun for the whole family!