The Thousands

"Squash?" I hear you say, incredulously. "That’s not cool. Isn’t that the game where two Gordon Gekko* yuppie lookee-likees bruise each other while ignoring the homosexuality underlying their macho aggressive competition?" In games I’ve played over the last few months there have been no bruises, no sprained ankles. And my latent manlove? Completely acknowledged.**Maybe I’m not playing it right, but that’s probably the trick. Find someone on a similar level of bodily dysfunction and you’ll have yourself a nice, close game full of pitiful hits, wonky-eyed aim and half-hearted dashes around the cavernous, cubed room. Judging by the apocalyptic screams, curses and guttural grunts coming from the adjacent court, I think this is not a game you want to get too good at. The basics: It’s first to 21, hit it above the line, don’t let it bounce twice.

*Wall Street (1987), Oliver Stone is currently working on a sequel. Yeah that’s right, the eighties are back; even the bits with Michael Douglas.