The Thousands

Got a pair of skates? A competitive spirit? A desire to dislocate your jaw or snap a femur in the pursuit of victory? Elbows? Well then line up, gals – it’s roller derby try out time!

They say you’ll need at least basic skating skills, which is why we’re giving you a bit of advance warning – so you can practice! It’s a week and a half until the ‘skills clinic’, where they’ll run you through the standard drills (you know, mashing opponents’ vital organs and the like) and give you an idea of whether you’ve got the minerals to play with the big girls. Then, the following week, it’s crunch time (hopefully not in a literal sense).**In case you didn’t catch my subtle (read: terrified) hints, this is a FULL CONTACT SPORT, so bring a mouth guard or bid farewell to your teeth, because shit gets hectic. You will also need a healthy does of fearlessness, and by the looks of things, fishnets.