The Thousands

So here’s the situation. You’re a cool young thing, you’ve been out on the town cruisin’ the strip with your own two feet, maybe you found someone to cruise and strip with, maybe you didn’t, but it’s time to go home and you need a cab ’cause you’re drunk (which is still cool no matter what the government tells you).

As an ex cab driver lemme give you a few tips on how to get that cab.

1. NEVER stand in a taxi rank, you will wait for ages, sober up, get sleepy and your ‘date’ will too. Go rogue. Stand 50 metres down the road from the rank. Sure it’s an arsehole thing to do but wouldn’t you rather be an arsehole in a cab?

2. Act sober. Tuck your shirt in, dust off your skirt, do up any loose buttons. Maybe even part your hair. Everyone respects someone with a part. Boy or girl.

3. Use your sexiness. A cab driver is always gonna choose a sexy chick over a fat drunk loon. Don’t be afraid to drop a nipple. Boy or girl! If you use this method, don’t sit in the front though.

Lastly, if ya can’t get a cab just hitch hike. What’s the worst that could happen!?