The Thousands

This year, Valentine’s Day falls on a new moon. But you’d still better watch out for the signs you may be dating a werewolf. Has your Valentine ever been into ripping villagers to shreds? Does he or she do a really good Chewbacca impression? If you look up a book called Lycanthropy and flip to chapter two, “Ancient Gypsy Lore”, do you see a woodcut of your Valentine with a furry head and no pants?

The Wolfman is Universal’s homage to its own classic 1941 monster flick. This time, Oscar-winning actors Anthony Hopkins and Benicio Del Toro lope about the misty moors as father-and-son werewolves Sir John and Lawrence Talbot. Emily Blunt is Gwen, the fiancée of Lawrence’s missing brother Ben. Meanwhile, Hugo Weaving plays Scotland Yard’s Inspector Aberline as a cross between Agent Smith and Elrond.**It’s supremely silly panto fodder, full of yawning plot holes (what’s the link between gypsies and werewolves? Was Lawrence’s mum a gypsy? Is Sir John meant to be Welsh? Does Gwen own an antiques shop?). But it’s unexpectedly gory, builds a wonderfully creepy gothic atmosphere, and best of all, it resists campy in-jokes. A date movie to sink your teeth into!